Analysis of Technophoria Syndrome

Something about computers makes people go crazy. There is some weird, voodoo-like attraction of the blinking screen that makes people lose 20 pounds of flab, gain 30 pounds of muscle, and start dreaming about world domination.

It also makes them think that work can fly.

Have you ever glanced through an email, just to get more horrified that the person thought they were describing a reasonable timeframe for a project, only to realize that they were describing the Impossible Project?

People think they’re being reasonable when they ask for turnaround times that no human could produce. Why? Because they spend more time with computers than with human beings. Just because the bytes move quickly, doesn’t mean that the human brain is going to move any faster than it usually does. (Unless one is on illegal drugs, which is another subject altogether.)

Example of Apparently Reasonable Request

Most people in the business world are not ogres, and they do genuinely believe that their insane requests are reasonable. “Can’t” is the original evil word, so their projections of the Possible are heavily laced with a lack of foresight and planning.

“I’m looking for a super skillful, eagle-eye editor who can check my new website for spelling and grammatical errors and anything else out of place that they might see, including making sure all links work correctly. Website is about 35 pages.

Need someone who can create an edit sheet to clearly point out what needs to be changed and where on each page so my web person can easily make the edit changes on the site.

I’ve reviewed the site a number of times and need that second pair of editor eyes to do a final review before we go live next week!

I need to have this work completed by Thursday, February 25 so please be available to start immediately.”

These are the bullet-pointed list of problems:

  1. You need a proofreader (spelling, grammar, link-checking).
  2. You need a project manager (create an edit sheet for your web person).
  3. You need a desperate freelancer who’s willing to use 3 days to get your website whipped into shape (35 pages, really?!).
  4.  You doubly need a desperate freelancer who wants to get paid $100 for doing three people’s work.

Definition of Insanity: TECHNOPHORIA

Definition of “Technophoria”: (noun, pronounced ‘tech-no-for-ee-uh’) a state of being in which fantasy turns into reality, fueled by strains of positive thinking mixed with the belief that anything is possible through the magic of technology.

If you just wave the magic wand of Disney-like thinking (i.e. a lasting relationship is forged in three days), then 35 pages pared down with an X-acto knife of skill shouldn’t be too much to ask.

And it’s not, unless you are requiring this work from someone who lives in a Western country, which means that $100 will not pay a month’s worth of groceries for more than one person and a cat. After the freelance platform fees, you’re looking at $90.

The Way Things Ought to Be

I realize that Rush Limbaugh has fallen out of favor with quite a few people, but I always liked his cheery optimism, and the idea that things in this world are the way they should NOT be. There ARE things that should be, and that is often the direct opposite of the way that people really operate.

The Job Post that Should Have Been

At Last!! A Job I Can Do!
  1. I need a skilled editor and proofreader to thoroughly review my website. Check for everything that’s out of place.
  2. The website is 35 pages; the word count is _______.
  3. I also need the editor to draft an Excel spreadsheet, detailing errors on certain pages/sections. Add links to the specific GoogleDoc webpages so that the process is easier for everyone.
  4. I’d like this to be done as soon as possible; please offer a realistic timeframe to be considered.
  5. Price: $275 or above
  6. If you can edit in WordPress, your bid will be preferred.
  7. Happy bidding!

If you have any examples of Technophoria in your own business niche, feel free to pass on!

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